July 27, 2008

• FAIL

  there is no point; there is no point.

  oh the sadness that I am. Oh. oh indeed. oh. the sadness. OH FUCK. OH FUK.

  i have to be compassionate with myuself! COMPASSIONATE!!  there's a good little emily, there you are. good for you. good you. i shall pet you and then feed you and then i shall loveyou. you are the good dog. you are the good.

  OH! THE MONITOR! STOP MONITORING ME!!! HE KIEESPS MONITORING ME!!!

  the no and sad. the no and sad.

  thjis is not a very good way to live you see. I am constricted. i am constricted. he is always around me, he is always be hind me. HE MAKES ME MISERABLE. MISERABLE!!

  i hate myself.

  well he hates me.

  OH! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! N!O N!O !N ST$RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL GOOD SOMETIMES ITS GOOD PLEASE LET IT BE GOOD PLEASE LET IT TO CONTINUE TO BE GOOD. i am so sad.

  it was good earlier. I uh .. . .i was very happy, and FREEEEEEEEE!!! I SAW MY VOICE! I SAW A VISION!! I THOUGHT I Was, i had beautiful thngs for the show.

  NOW THIS FUCKER HAS TO COME ALONG. i want my good feelings . he will not let me have the good feelings.

   MICHAEL KEATON!??!?!

  IT IS A METAPHORE!!!

  HAHHAHAHAHHAHH HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  i loved the joker. i loved him. i thought i did anyway. then i thought, "BUT ALL THESE OTHER FUCKERS DO TOO,!!!!" there was then, no point.

  BLACK ! WHITE! BLACK AND WHITE!! OBLITERATING MY MIND!! THEY ARE OBLITERATTING MY MIND!! ENTERING AND OBLITERATTING MY MIND!!!

  i cnanot love the joker if other people do too. this is distressing to my worldview. if other people love the joker, then perhaps i do not love him at all. for they probably actually love him, and mine is just again THE GODDAMNED STRAIIINNSS OF TRYYYINNNGG OTTTOOO OOOVEEE HIIIMMMMMMMMM> i could not do it, i could not. i couldnt do it, and i was very sad . i could not really love him.

  but then again, I could!!! YAYYY!! I DID!! I DID FEEL THINGS FOR HIM!!! but then again, those other fucker girls said they got all hot and horny from the joker. AND SO WHY CANNOT III!!?!?!? WHY CANNOT III!?!??!

  IF I DO NOT LOVE HTE JOKER THE MOSTT< THE BESTEST< THEN THERE IS NO POINT IN ME LOVING THE JOKER AT ALL@!!

  they'res is probably real. and mine is not. it is just a thing that i say to myerlf over and over and over again. i am always convincing always convincing always convinvgin.

  perhaps i do not know what horny is. Perhaps i do not, after all.

  and so it is nothing.

   

  YOU SEE, folks, it is the prime problem. Once i start thinking of ther other humans, IIIT CANT AND NOTHING WORKS NOTHING IS GOOD NOTHING IS GOOD ITS ALL BAD ALL BAD ALL BAD ALL BAD ALLB AD!!!!!!!!!

  you see, i can love mister joker. but then, if  I know others do too, then I think they love him more than me. and so, i see it is al l a sham. all a sham. i really dont.

  THIS IS THINKING  BLACK AND WHITE!!! AHAHH! BEST AND WORSSE!! !!!! AND I CANNOT STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  IT IS OBLITERATING MY MIDN!! IT TAKES ME OVER !! I CANNOT STOP I CANNOT STOP I CNANNNOOT STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  why am i so sad.

  oh boy, but i did have good feelings for a while!! Well, anything that is preventing me from having those good feelings, must just be, THE PART OF ME THAT HATES MYSELF!! AHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAAHH!!! so no, you fukcer, you shut up now.

  oops, that wsa self-hating too.

  so i guess all i can do is

  is

  is

  is

  you are a good little human!! GOOD HUMAN!!! good, little human. AAwww.

  [you see folks, i have to be comapassionate to myself. good human. good human . i must respect and yeild to all my little needs and thoughts. good human. goood hummannnnn./]

  aww. isnt that better? See, she can feel anything she wants too.

  good.

  good human. good human. good. i pet thee. good . i pet thee.

   

  YOU SE E FOLKS, thats why I GET SABATOOOCGGGED WHEN I LOVE THE JOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE I SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT LOVE THE JOKER TOO, AND I AUTOMATICALLY GET GET BLACK AND WHITE, AND SO I SAY "WELL THEY MUST LOVE HIM MORE THAN ME> THERE FORE I DO NOT LOVE HIM, AND THEREFORE, EVEN IF I DID LOVE HIM JSUT A LITTLE, THERE IS NO VALIDATION IN IT BECAUSE I COULD LOVE HIM MORE AND I DONT LOVE HIM THE MOST."
  
  AND THAT IS THE FUCK MINDSET, YOU FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

  BECAAAAAAAUUUUUSE ..

  ... AHAHH!! AHH!H! I AM WINNING!! I SHALL FIGHT YOU YOU FUCKER@@@ SO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOPM ME AND SPIT IN MY EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHAAHHA
  NO!! NO!!
  I FIGHT YOU!!
  MY SPIRITY SHALL WIN!!
  MY SPIRIT OF MICHALE KEATON, THE MAVERICK SPIRIT!!!
  AHAHHAHA!
  
  YOU CANNOT JUST FUKIN VLOVE ME AND LEAVE ME TO DIE YOU FUCKING IDEAL!! AHAHHAAH!! AHHAHAHAHHAH!!! AHHAHAHHA!!! NOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

  
  I SHALL BE ON MY OWN!! AHHAHAH!! I DO NOT NEED YOLU!! AHHA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHHAH! !HAHAHH

  OH THE JOY!!!
  OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  soooooooooooooo you think you can stomp me and spit in my EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

  [no]

  so you think you can love me and leave me to DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE

  [no]

  OAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BAAYYBAYYhh, YOU GODDAMMNED IDEALIZED SELF, TAKE A SOMETHING BAAAAYBAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

   

  And you see, this not only appolies to joker love, but it applies to .. .too .. .  .

  TO EVERY GODDAMMNEND ASPECT OF MY EXISTANCE!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

  

   

  WWWWWWWYEEEEEYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAW MMM HMMM.

  FUCK YOUI, IDEALS!! HAHAHAHAHHAHH!! FUK YOU ALL!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH!! HAHAHA

  fuck you cukckk

  yyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu weeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeeeeee aaaaaaaa nnuuuuuuuuuu

  burden on me but no more. no more. no more.

   

   

  JUST GOTTA GET OUUUUUUUUUUUUU T
  JUST GOTTA GET RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE OUT OA HEEEAAAAAAAAAAA

   

   

  i have been connstricted into a tiny little hole . i cannot move. i cannot mofve. i cannot move i cannot move i cannot move i cannot move i cannot vmomove i cannot move i cannot move i cannot move.

  can't though, when i have my insightful show-love, cannot i keep that? For i beleive it is genuine, sir, i beleive it is genuine, am i cooreect?? oh cant i have that, please? Oh cannot iiiii/??

  iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

  itttttttttttttttttttttttttt

  iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

  iiiiiiii

  oh no. on h no.

  RUT MINDSET!!

  no. please do not come. please PLEASE DONT!!

   I THOUGHT I WAS OVE RYOU I THOUGHT I WAAAASSS!!!

   

  [the rut seems to be coming to attack me. this is not good. i thought i was partly over this. but he might come back now. oh god, oh !!!!!!]

  soemtimes i was happy. i learned about self-hate and how i hate myself. then i appplied it to my personal livings, and then i sung queen and performed bohemian rhapsody to myself, and then i gota cheeseburger , and then i read more book!!

   

  BUT NO!!no, the all or nothing mindset, he is coming back. HE IS COMING BACK!!! I do not want him, i do not, i thjought i was rid of him. I SAW GREAT THINGS!!!
  fror the joker, he gave me hope he did, he gave me hope.

  oh good, i just thought of my show, and how i could do it, and it would be the beautifuls. but, ..

  all i must do is hang onto that. hang on hang on.

  BUT--

  BUT__

   

  UOISJFE!! BUT_--------------

  

   

   

  okay so now this is the metaphore. YAY!! THE METHAOHPRE!!

  that n' that.

   

  as you can see here, this is a michael keaton.

  aw. he sure is the cutest!! YEEE! What a sexy man. mmmmmmmmm. i do like his head. i do like it all i really d o i do i do i DO.

  HAHAHA I CANNOT FEEL AHHAHHA!

  anyway, so that was a micahel keaton.

  wait.

  okay s o that's a michael keaton. mmmmmmmmmmmm.

  ..

  .

  oh yeah, also today i laid on my bed and had fantastical sexual fantasies involving beetlejuice forcing me down onto his abnormally large shaft, and how I screamed in agaony and pleasure!! what a struggle it was, fitting me on that thing -- it was horrid, and it represented the insatiable need for epitimatic wholeness that bursts me apart with epitimatic xenithic orgasmic GOODs that we all know cannot exist, and it also made me bleed and expell copious amounts of newly-excavated virgin cum! it was the goods! THE TOPS!! i haven't been able to do things like that in a while, seeing as how I CANT FEEL.

  anyway, then i melted as i went into my ruttish completely fantastic wonderful fantasy of me Giiiivvvinngg mmyyseelellfff iiin eevvvvvvvvveeryyy possosisibblle wayyy tooo o  miisiistter juuuiiccceeyy annndndnd plleeeeeeassssssiiinnnggg himmmmmmmmmmmmmm mamaaaaaaaaaaaa its liike iimnn noot evvenn therreee, i giiiiIIVIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEE mmmyself to him and i melt into him and i dissapear into nothingness as i hungrily put my mouth and face all over his man-part - and this justpleases him so much because yoouur mann-parrt is likke driinkkinngg froomm the most fantasticall stream of godly-juice, and it is like the savior for me that , and i love you so omuuch miiistterr juuiceey -- look how mmuch i love you, SEE hoow much ii looooovve youuu -- THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE--MY LIFE IS COMPLETE AND THE BEST BECAUSE I GET TO PUT MY MOUTH ON YOUR HOLY SACRED MAN-PART AND THEREFORE YOUUUUUUU AREE JUUSTTTSOOOOOO GREAAAATTTTTTTi want to please you soooo bad that your man-part juice is like THE WINE OF THE GODS -- that is how great you are THAT IS HOW GREAT YOU ARE YOU ARRE SOO GREAT YOU ARE SOOO GREAT YOU ARE SOOOOOO GGREAAAAAAAAATT TSOOOOOOOOO GGREAAAAAAATT SOOOOOOOOOO GREAAAAAAAAAT YOU ARE YOU ARE YYYOOOOOOOOOOOOU     ARRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRE I JUSUT WANT YOU TO FEEL GOOD I JUST WANT YOU TO FEEL GOOD I WANT TO BE YOUR SLAVE ALL  I WANT TO DO IS MAKE YOU FEEL GOOOD I VLLOOVEEE YOOUUU MISTER JUICEY  ITS LALL YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU

  and you know, then i couldn't do it after a while because I realized that the fantasy was just me transfering my own need for validation and superiority on mister juicey, so then it was just like i was sucking off myself. damn. i found that un-erotic.  .... well see, i get validated and superior because i have the POWER to please mister juicey in the best way possible and make him get pleased;;;; conversely, mister juicey (the other form of I) gets validated and superior because he has the POWER to make someone want to please him so bad.

  SO ITS JUST A WHOLE NEEDY GRANDIOUS DISCUSTING LOVE-FEST OF NARCISSISMM!!!!!

   

  i suck off myself. and it is the GOODS!! the TOPS!!

   

   

  ..

  

   

  ;;

   

  mmm.

  OH YEAH ABOUT THE METAPHORE. forget it. forget it, i dont wanna do it. fuck it.

   

   

  OH M GEEE!!
  
  i am currently uploading hot n' sexy joker pictures!!. Then again, i cant even tell if I really even find them hot n' sexy. Some other people else probably find them more hot n' sexy than me, so therefore my findings of him hot-n'sexy would be absoultely worthless. For their's are probably real. they probably get auto-orgasms just by looking at him, and i can't at all. it's all a sham. i'm a sham. I cannot feel. i guess i'm just incapable of feeling. WHY OH WHYY CANNT III FEEEELL!?!! i can't get horny. therefore everything i've ever been horny aabout was nothing, nothingn, nothing, nothing. i can't feel, therefore anything i've ever found pleasurable has been nothing, nothing , nothing nothing. For i could've found them much more pleasurable, Much more, like all those other humans. i guess then that my show then, i am not even passionate about it. i cant get passionate about anything. WHY me?? Why MEE??? Why cant i feel?? WHY is life so meaningless/? WHY IS it so empty?? WHY is everyTHING DEVOID OF EVERYTHIN!??!!?!

  mmmmm. ii canntt feeelll. i cannt feeell ata lllllll mmmmmmmmmm, plleassuuureeee. poooorr little meee. pooooorrr litttllleeee meeeeeeeee. my liffe is horrible. well then, welp, i guess i'll just give up then... mmmmmmmmmmmm.. ... i guess i'll just never be able to feel at all.. mmmm. i think then that i'm just going to go curl up in my bed and suck my thumb, and hide away and never comeout@ ! Because there's nothing for me to see or do, no point. mmmmmmmm. its sooooo pleasurable to rot here. mmmmmmmm. self-pity is the tooospppppss . mmmmmmm. mmmmm..... [inject with self-pity needle] AhooAAAHOAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh orgasm . orgasm.. mmmmmmmm. mmmmmm. never come out. mmmmmm . diiiee...diiieeeee.. . mmmmmm..

   

  ..

   

  ....

  what?@what.com

   

   

  OH!OOH@!OH LOOK I JUST UPLOADED HOT N'SEXY JOKER PICTURES!!

  OAH!! OAH THE TOPS!!! do i really find it the tops?? i cannot tell. i surely cannot. yes, i suppose there is something threere, there is something..... i definetely derive some pleasure from it. but.... BUT --- ooahh there's no way of telling.

  BUT MMM!!! HOT N'SEXY!!! Now that there, is hot n[' sexy. i'd fuck it. i'd fuck. it. i'd . fuck. it. i would fuck it.

  i woudl.

  HHEHE!

   

  .

  pleasure.

   

  .

  SO CUTTEE!!

   

   

  now that there, is the tongue that would be ideal for vaginal penetration. I beleive, that i would want it in my vaginal. I think. I have no idea. The other humans probably want it more in their vaginal than I do. oh, fum. how will I ever know??

  Oaah, ther's no way of telling ( L(

   

  mmm i'd like it in my vaginal.

   

  OAH! Now that there looks like it would have a vaginal, correct? Well no, it doesn't!! Because it's actually the boy joker, just dressed up like a girl!! its hawt.

  i think in the vaginal it is hawt becuase in the vaginal its hawt because it would be hawt in the vaginal because its hawt.

   

  .

   

  .

   

  i want it in my vaginal.

   

  ,

  ,,

  vaginal in the vaginal.

   

  .

   

  .

   

  ll

  pleasure.

   

   

  Sexah@sexah.com!!  

  AND THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!

  OMG@@!! Maybe i actually DOOOO find him sexah!!! yes, perhaps it's real!! OH HOW I WANT TO BE A REAL BOY!! see, i look at his head, and OMG, yes, i definetley do find it sexah! I Definetley DOO find it Sexah!! OH HAWT!!

  because, because i checked, and it is hawt and it is hawt becuas it it  it is sexy anad hawt nad then it was hawt. and in the vaginal i want it. in the vagina.

  .

  ..

  .

  wana know how i got those retarded avatars? FUNNY STORY!! It actually comes from my darkest shame. I shouldn't 've done it, i shouldn't 've!! I knew it, i've known, i know it only leads to trouble and shame! It's no good --- but' lol, i did it anyway, lol lol.

  i did it, i went back to my little vice, my little sin.

  well, i'm rather  ashamed to say it. but since you all ARE SUCK A FHANTASTIIC AUDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEECCCCCEEEEEEEEaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  i will say it.

  .

  ..

  .

   

  i typed in the joker's name in to goodgle. not just goggle, but JOKER name PLUS verbs! The ....... i mean adjectives. the adjectives where shameful adjectives. but i made sure to get all of the possible combinations so as not to exclude any possible things! they went a little something like this: Sexy, hot, hott, hawt, hawtt, cute, sexxy, sexxxy, sexah, sexxah, sexxxah, and just to make sure, sexxxxxxah and cutah. then, (well see i can't look at myuself when i do this. i have to deny in my mind that i am doing this. therefore, i cannot have the google bar, or any text on the computre, be showing the horrible shamefu l phrase.)

  then, i click on them.

  and that is when i found others like me!! I said, OH JOY!! JOY!! As i hugged myself and thought, "THERE ARE other s who like the joker as well! OHH!! OH kiNDRED SPIRITS!!"

  but simultaneously i was enraged and i said "NO ON ECAN LIKE HIM BUT ME BECAUSE I WANT HIM AND IM THE INSANE ONE AND I LIKE HIM AND HE IS MINE AND I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES HIM SO I AM VALIDATED AND THE ONLY WAY MY FEELINGS CAN BE VALIDATED IS IF I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS THEM AND THE WORLD KNOWS THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS THEM AND THE WORLD KNOWS AND THEY KNOW IT SO I KNOW IT AND THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN KNOW IT IS IF THEY KNOW IT ANDoah no, now that others like him it means that i probably don tlike him becaues  they like him more than me probably and so then that means that my liking of him means nothing, nothing, nothing at all oh no oh no oh no oh no im worthless im a sham im worthless im a shami'm a sham. I cannot feel. i guess i'm just incapable of feeling. WHY OH WHYY CANNT III FEEEELL!?!! i can't get horny. therefore everything i've ever been horny aabout was nothing, nothingn, nothing, nothing. i can't feel, therefore anything i've ever found pleasurable has been nothing, nothing , nothing nothing. For i could've found them much more pleasurable, Much more, like all those other humans. i guess then that my show then, i am not even passionate about it. i cant get passionate about anything. WHY me?? Why MEE??? Why cant i feel?? WHY is life so meaningless/? WHY IS it so empty?? WHY is everyTHING DEVOID OF EVERYTHIN!??!!?!

  mmmmm. ii canntt feeelll. i cannt feeell ata lllllll mmmmmmmmmm, plleassuuureeee. poooorr little meee. pooooorrr litttllleeee meeeeeeeee. my liffe is horrible. well then, welp, i guess i'll just give up then... mmmmmmmmmmmm.. ... i guess i'll just never be able to feel at all.. mmmm. i think then that i'm just going to go curl up in my bed and suck my thumb, and hide away and never comeout@ ! Because there's nothing for me to see or do, no point. mmmmmmmm. its sooooo pleasurable to rot here. mmmmmmmm. self-pity is the tooospppppss . mmmmmmm. mmmmm..... [inject with self-pity needle] AhooAAAHOAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh orgasm . orgasm.. mmmmmmmm. mmmmmm. never come out. mmmmmm . diiiee...diiieeeee.. . mmmmmm..

   

   

   

   

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  .. RETARDEDSFUX@RETARDEDXFUX.COM !!
  

   

  mm. sexy. i bet it has a vaginal too.

  like me! we have so much in cooomon. therefore we must be with one another andit is the law. you also look like you have a teat right there. i can see it. i can see it, ollook, see? its like poking out abit. it's triangular.

  mm. hawt.

   

  ..

  just kidding, it has a penis. because its a boy. a boy joker and its just dressing up like a girl.

   

   

  OH.

  mmmm.

  ahywya, okay let me get a bit serious though here guys.

  THIS IS WHAT IS THE FINAL THING.

  THE FINAL THING TO MY EXISTANCE.

  THE FINAL THING

  THIS IS THE DEFINER OF ALL.

  DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU.

  IT COMBINES EVERYTHING EVERY PART OF ME AND MY IDENTITY AND MY EXISTANCE, EVERYTHING> THIS IS EPITIMATIC.

  I WILL TEL YOU KNOW.

  I MEAN NOW.

  THE THING THAT IS THE DEFINER< THE FINAL THING,

  IS THIS::

  THIS IDEA HERE.

  THIS IDEAL HERE.

  I WILL TEL L YOU NOW.

  IT IS::

  :::

  ::

   

  ,....

   

  The joker in a schoolgirl uniform.

  hawt. ist.

  THEJOKERINASCHOOLGIRLUNIFORM@THEJOKERINASCHOOLGIRLUNIFORM.COM !

  mmmmmmmm.

  EDIT!!!!::::::::;

  lok, ive got MANY more sexy joker in woman clothes things!!!!! (it would be much hotter witha man body, but i will take what I can get.)

  mmmmmmmmm!

  mmmmmmm- whata cutie! !hawt!

  f oh yeah!!! it is HAWT!!!

  MM MMM mMMMMMM!!! oh yes.

  WHAT!?!? Now how'd THAT get in there@@!!

   

   

  mmmm. that was sexual indeed.

   

  • 10:55 pm
  • 8 Comments