Month: May 2011





    You and Emily Youcis














    The People Have Spoken


    Aug. 26, 2008 | 11:39 AM willfree says:

    Take yoorur time.. I Can sleep as long as you rpomise there will be MOAR MOAR MOAR MOARRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrr

    Sep. 1, 2008 | 3:27 PM DarkShadow8181 says:

    you are a genious.

    maybe. actually yes. no.yes?...maybe. wee.

    Sep. 10, 2008 | 8:52 AM esenem says:

    Emily you are terribly missed and your presence is urgently needed in New York. Someone needs to put things that do things into your hands so that you can impose your superior reality over the banal day to day so many slog through thus freeing them to transcend whatever it is that gets transcended when you transcend.

    Alfred is Christ.

    Sep. 15, 2008 | 12:26 PM DaVeB0T says:

    yep thats tru

    Sep. 15, 2008 | 12:30 PM DaVeB0T says:

    I would say your animation quality is improving.

    Nov. 21, 2008 | 8:54 PM NewShape says:

    not going to read that but I will watch them
    btw hes gone now but numbers would have loved u, 2 bad u missed him

    Dec. 14, 2008 | 3:47 PM Rasta-4-Life says:

    Our world is now run by fear A new power must take hold To be the first in a nation under chaos New world order is our fate Judgement will not sit idlely by waiting for time to pass If you believe in something CUT ANYONE DOWN WHO STANDS IN YOUR WAY.

    Dec. 20, 2008 | 12:58 AM SilverRhythm says:

    Slit my cock and toss it to the dogs (pun intended) I want :/

    Dec. 26, 2008 | 7:09 AM JoKeRsWiSeHaT says:

    Do you scare yourself being this insane/

    Dec. 30, 2008 | 12:48 PM Leigh says:

    Holy shit I just discovered you WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? Your brain... it's... so awesome...

    Jan. 3, 2009 | 12:30 PM GameBalance says:

    But what happened with Michael?

    Jan. 7, 2009 | 11:15 PM TheDeathlessPrince says:

    Hi Steve.


    April 18, 2011

    I'd Avoid the Shelled Nuts at CBP...

    Who doesn't love peanuts at a ballgame? There's nothing better than cracking shells and watching them blow into your neighbors face while watching baseball (unless I'm your neighbor. Then you're a jerk)! If you're at Citizens Bank Park, chances are you're purchasing said peanuts from a lovely older lady whose "PEAAAANUTTTTS!" chant sounds suspiciously like she's saying "PENIS." For those of you who share the same 12 year old's sense of humor that I have, she's always worth a giggle. But as strange as it sounds, peanut lady pales in comparison to the new nut salesman on the block:Pistachio Girl!

    CNBC recently reported that Pistachios are quickly becoming the nut of choice for baseball fans. $35Million dollars has been spent on Pistachio related advertising campaigns since 2009. Eleven ballparks have taken to selling this alternative shelled nut, but I can't imagine that any of them have as "colorful" of a saleswoman as Citizens Bank Park. To say that the Pistachio girl is completely "bat-shit crazy" would be an insult to the feces of flying mammals. Creepy and disturbing would be much more appropriate adjectives. Twitter has been abuzz with stories of her off duty antics for the past few weeks and I've tracked down dozens of links, but by no means is my information written in stone. Apparently she is a local college student who is an artist of sorts. I'm not talking "artist" likecomics books and podcasts. I'm talking "artist" as murals made of sheep's blood and death metal. 

    Now, don't get me wrong... there is clearly a faction of people that enjoy this sort of lifestyle. I even commend CBP and the Phillies for being an equal opportunity employer in that regard. Quite frankly, walking up and down stairs for 3 hours 81 games a year plus playoffs isn't a job for the weak. But do you want to buy your nuts from this interviewee? I can't pretend at all to understand the appeal in any of this, but to each their own I guess. I'm told that in order to properly understand the experience, huffing gold spray paint out of a paper bag is required. I don't plan on doing that so for now I'm going to have to assume that those $6.00 Wonderful Pistachios are probably laced with arsenic for her amusement and avoid them like the plague. I'll be sticking to sunflower seeds...

    In "not at all crazy ballpark vendor" news, Bill "The Beerman" will be serving up ice cold Bud and Bud Lite products to those in anyone of age in the right field section of CBP via Twitter. Considering fans spend most of the game on their blackberries/iPhones anyway, why not! Check him out@philsbeerman and if you're in 101-107/201-211/301-310 send him your section, row, and seat and you'll never have to get up!



    whodoesheplayfor said...

    Putting aside the fact that everything is so goddamn expensive, I steer clear of the vendors. Most of them are not what I want to see serving food.

    15850446-7695-11e0-b699-000bcdcb471e said...

    Emily Pukis 4ever@ She is amazing! buy the pistachios asshole!

    Anonymous said...


    Anonymous said...

    The world needs more Emily and less everything else.

    Anonymous said...

    is baseball so boring you have to talk crap on the girl who sells pistachios? this is lame. who cares?

    vomitgorl said...

    You don't deserve her giant nuts in your slimey little mouth.

    FB Pistachio Fan said...

    Blah blah blah - she is awkwardly awesome. Our whole section cheers her on ever time she starts her yelling. Oh, and here's a shameless plug for the Facebook fan page you referenced :)

    Anonymous said...


    Dropped Strike Three said...

    My apologies to pistachio fans. I thought my "to each their own" undertones were a little more obvious. 

    But hey, thanks for the site traffic!

    Anonymous said...

    Pistachio Girl is a hero to the masses. Who doesn't want a little flavor to their game? Everybody has a little freak in em' just depends on how obvious you are. And ya have to admit, girl's got a set of pipes. Lets not even get into YOUR extracurricular activities.
    advice-- avoid that stripper with the tiny left boob

    Anonymous said...

    Don't talk about what you don't know asshole. You know nothing about Emily Pukis, so find someone else to tear apart on your lame blog.

    Anonymous said...

    emily's the best, man!

    Anonymous said...

    It's funny that everyone thinks Emily's last name is actually Pukis.

    Anonymous said...

    This shit is great. No, not the poorly written article but the fact that most of the people on here probably give a shit more then pistachio girl would.

    Large Diane said...

    Chill ya dumbass, Em is great and cleaner than u may think

    Anonymous said...

    sanity is overvalued

    Nate Maas said...

    Wow, Emily Youcis really doesn't come across as dangerous at all. The over-reaction in this article is ridiculous.

    Anonymous said...

    haters makin her famous keep it up