Oh, TIS!! OH fun i've been having. tis summer. Tis summer and well mister tolle has invaded my livings. I have been camera'ing much, for I got a camera, and I filmed the michael keaton doll and the mutilated stalin doll and the guy that i got at goodwill with the wide mouth doll all having sex with one another to the justin timberlake somg, Cry me a river!! OH!!
which reminds me, i have bad news. For that camera I got for my birthday on the thirtyith, and --- it only means one thing. i am officially legal.
This is the saddenings for me. I am no longer a schoolgirl. Nay, the pleated skirt refuses to go on me any longer, and the socks, they shrivel when they touch my de-schoolgirl-ized legs. Why, even the pure white panties are not as white as they used to be. The oppurtunity to get ravaged by a Mister Juicey Juice when I am fresh and elastic and innocent has been ceased. Never again, friends, for that bitch time has taken it from me!!! DAMN YOU, YOU BITCH TIME!!! I am now useless. I'm no good. Nay, twas my last race. They ought to take me out back and shoot me. For i am old, worn out, and my days of running are over.
The sad.
Oh well, now I can be a stripper! Oh joy!! For what boosts self esteem like dancing around topless in front of the saggy men!!! oh i cant wait!! I shall feel so good about myself, because of all the attention i shall have!! The saggy men put fourty seven cents down on the stripping table - Oh, it means i am worthy!! It means they like me!! WOW, the saggy men likes me, because and weell i know this, becuase he is watching me and he even put fourtyseven cents down!! This is an amazing thing for me!! My self-worth will increase 23 points!! I dont see why they call this job degrading. I mean, the men WANT to see you! I mean, welll wouldn't that make you just feel special? Oh i will be so special when i am on the stripper's table! So very special! THen i will go home and write down in my diary - dear diary, today a saggy man liked me because well he thought i strippedgood, because he was lllooking at me!! He was lookingat me and thus he likes me, because why would you look at someone if you did't like them! And i shall think of the saggy man as i go tosleep , hugging my pillow and sighing with joy as i think about the bond we shared.
But i wont do it because i am a coward and i think iwill start cryingwhile on the strippers table, and i dont think the saggy men like crying strippers except for the sadist ones. Plus if my parent finds out she will literally die. I mean, she's weak people, she WILL die.
In other news -- oh yeah, well, Here's something. If i did strip, perhaps maybe. . . just perhaps maybe. .. . . mister juicey juicey corpsey stripey juicey juice will showup!! Oh, i clench my face in girlish joy and squeal! (though now that i'm legal i dont squeal so highpitched and girlish. i am sad.) Becuas e==== because -- mister juicey juicey juicey corpse corpsey corpse usually hangs around strip clubs --- because in the movie, in that one movie, he wnet to one. He went there, to the brothel which is like a strip club and also in the movie he likes to have sex with females and so he'd probably go to a strip club and he is horney.
so I think he would show up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, clench!! squeal!! because, well, okay. so this is how it would happen. okay. so okay i am stripping, right? and then i'll look over, and then there will be mister juicey juicey corpsey stripey juicey juicye corpsey stripey juicey juicey sitting over there! he will be sitting down, and he will be horny!! thenn, i will be happy, and then i will go up to him. I will say, "hello mister jucieyjuicye corpsey striepy ejuicye jjicey stripey scorpse' and then he will go, 'Oh yeah babah now crouch down and twirl it around and GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES yeah now do some little maneuver there oh yeah babah now DO SOMTHING INTERESTING WITH THAT POLE oh yeah good mm hmm good and now DIRECT YOUR ASS SO IT DOES SOMETHING THAT IS PLEASING TO ME oh yes that is well!!' and on the stripper table i shall, but i shall love it.
i shall love it even more than the saggy men. for it is juicey juicey stripey corpsey juicey juicye and i shall be enveloped in very happy joy and i shall dance for him because ii juustt want, in evvery inch of my being, to please him. and the more i please him, the fucking better i feel.
But i am sad, because i dont think that mister juciey juicey stripey corpsey juuicey exists. ":)( i mean whoops
. yeah. my friend told me he was not real at the pool. i said to her, 'what if mister juicey jjicey ocorpseoy juciey sjuciey shows up? i will be ever so elated!' and she said, 'well emily he's not real.' and i siad, 'no, comeon, he cna't me fake, he is real, i know it! ' and she said he wasn't and then i remembered about how he was a character [played by michael keaton and that i actually obsessed over michael keaton fairly as much as he did, and that this fact was very clear in my mind for many months.
then i was sad.
then i had a fantastic idea!! I would pretend a man at the pool was mister striepye! So i looked over there to find one, and i did, and it was some guy. he was sort of fat, so i watched him for a while and pretended i was watching mister juicye. ! so i did, and well it sort of worked sort of . then there was a water toy in the pool and it looked like a penis , infact it squirted water out of a hole in the end of it, and i had another fantasic idea1! i will pretend this toy is mister juicey's penis! So i did, and i squirted it at my face and i told some kids to squirt it in my eye and in my mouth, and i laughed as they did so, and so i did that for a while and well it sort of worked a bit, kind of. then my friend , i asked her to rub sun screen on my back, and she did, and when she did i pretended her hands were mister juicey and that mister juicey was actually rubbing sun screen on myback. so i did, and well it wort of worked i guess. then i was sad again.
then i sad.
((())((
then i had an idea! if i stripped, which i am not going to do except maybe when i'm broke in college, but if i did, i could pretend the saggy men were mister juicey! And then every saggy men i would dance for in a manner of absolute desperate insatiable need to please them in every way that i can!!! And then everyone would be happy~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!
One day, those shall be MY severed legs!! OH JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i am becoming ever increasingly aware that i am alive on this absurd retarted planit in this absurd retarted universe and wow how fucking amazing it si and oh god, life is the fantasticist thing, and i ust need to remember it, and nothing can make me happy becuase they're all just void fillers so i might as well be happy twenty four of the seven and that i am free in this stupid matrix of existance that is so retarded and i cnan just go romping about for i am only free here for like .0000000000000003 seconds and it doesnt matter what the hell id o, and my mind chains are being broken and my strains and shoulds are being obliterated and this world is not what we think , people, if only you all could just stop doing your meningless stream of crap for like 2 seconds and realize that you ARE , that retardedly stupid amazing fact that you ARE, and that there IS something, and that somehting had to come from somewhere, i mean, and just go WHAT THE fuck what the fuck what the fuck, please do that lal of you, for your stream of day to day crap just becomes so goddamned pointless and retarded when you do so. i mean, come on you bunch of retarded pawns, wake up here. jeezuz, everyone's on fucking autopilot, EVERYONE!! CANT THEY SEE THAT THEY ARE!! cant they see the incomprehensible mystery!! la and what the fuck,
and
well then,
well i am ever increasingly getting into my old cycle! and i am every increasingly savoring all the stupid moments of my life!! and i am ever increasingly breaking down al the stupid walls! AHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OM G GHESS WHT!!! 3 centipedes came out in one night and i killed them all in sad joy and pleasure anguish, and then i filmed the one dead centipede and talked in a beetlejuice voice and pretended the centipede was beetlejuice and talking in a beetlejuice voice! WQW!





























































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